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UNDERSTANDING THE TRADITIONS

We will not lie - we don’t know everything and we are working on understanding the rich traditions represented in South Africa. We will add as we respectfully understand and appreciate the intricacies involved. Please feel free to share with us!

There are a few stages in a typical traditional wedding:

1)    Dowry payment, often termed Lobola.
2)    Gift sharing between the two families (this includes ceremonies such as Izibizo/Membeso, Umbondo) prior to the actual wedding.
3)    Finally, the official ceremony wedding where the bride is officially welcomed into her new family – ceremonies such as uMabo/ukuMbathisa are performed as part of the celebrations.

 

What is Lobola?

Lobola (loh-boh-lah) – this is the bride dowry/price in southern African culture. It is traditionally paid with cattle or equivalent monetary value. The average price can range from 11 cows up to 15, and more, for royal blood. It is considered a token of appreciation to the bride’s family for raising her and allowing her to help build the man’s home.

This tradition comes after “ukucela” - asking for her hand in marriage – the first introduction of the man to the woman’s family. This is where he announces his intentions and is advised on the requirements for the bride price.

Read further: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lobolo

What is Umbondo/ Ingqibamasondo?

Following lobola and deemed reciprocation by the bride, Umbondo (oohm-bo-ndor) is when Koti gives the visiting party, tasked with asking for her hand, gifts in the form of a basket of goodies and groceries such as maize, rice, cooking oil, etc. or she takes them herself to her in-laws. She is accompanied by girls and one of them will stay behind as her maid. The maid’s role is to help Koti and run errands for her, because there are places that she cannot access in the homestead prior to official marriage. Umbondo can and is often combined with umabo instead of being a standalone event.

Ingqibamasondo is a part of umbondo. This is a ‘public announcement’ by the bride that she will be married soon, a "thank you" to the bridegroom’s family and so a transitionary custom. This can only happen when lobola is fully paid up. It involves Koti being taken to the kraal where a goat is slaughtered to symbolise and allow Koti to become a member of the house, having permission to act as a child of the house. Koti takes with her goodies such as a tray and tea set for the chief negotiator and his wife as well as a basket for her mother-in-law.

What is uMembeso/Izibizo?

Umembeso (ooh-meh-mbheh-soh) involves the bridegroom gifting Koti’s family, specifically her mother, as a "thank you" for raising his fiancée well. He receives a list of gifts to buy a few family members, including the late, such as blankets, mats, pinafores, doeks, livestock etc. There is much celebration in the form of song and dance during this ceremony as two families become one. A goat and food are prepared by Koti’s family as a way of welcoming the groom’s family to their home and, in some instances, small gifts will also be given to the groom’s family.

What is uMabo?

Often known and recognised by customary law as the official traditional wedding ceremony, umabo (ooh-mah-boh) is the official welcoming of Koti into her bridegroom’s home. This often takes place after the white wedding but can be done as a standalone, post lobola and membeso.

In its simplest form, Koti is adorned in traditional gear and proceeds to give gifts to her new family, as per list received from the bridegroom - which usually includes blankets, pinafores, cookware, groceries, furniture etc. The recipients receive their blankets/gifts and celebrate the new bride with dancing and singing, all in the name of two families becoming one.

PURCHASING FAQ’s

How do I buy on the website?
  • Type what you are looking for in the search box on the top of the page.
  • Select the item from the pictured options, select the variation or colour you wish to buy. In some cases, you will be required to pick the size you require and then finish off with quantity required per item.
  • Click on the “Add to Cart” button.
  • Repeat for all categories and items you require.
  • Once done, click on the cart on icon on your top right corner and select either “Checkout” or “Cart” to proceed to payment or review your cart.
  • You will be asked to log-in or continue as a guest at this point if you haven’t already. Fill in all required information for your profile and shipping/collection details.
  • You will then return to view your order in a list including the item pic, description, quantity and price.
  • Should you have a specific date when you need to have your delivery completed, i.e. have more time >14days or less <7days please select date from drop down calendar. Click on “Continue to Payment” at the bottom of the page.
  • Select your payment method and based on selection, complete the payment following on screen instructions.
  • A summary of your order will be displayed and an email will be sent to you with the same details.
How do I register?

You will get an option to register and create an account when you complete your first checkout.

Do I have to be engaged to purchase?

Absolutely not. While perhaps most pertinent and helpful to those preparing for their wedding, anyone is most welcome to purchase what they like, no matter which stage of life they are in.

Is there a minimum order value?

Not at all.

PAYMENT FAQ’s

Is it safe to pay with my credit/debit card?

Yes, it is. Koti is registered with Payfast which is a registered and secure 3rd party payment gateway.

Can I pay using EFT?

Yes you can! Select "Electronic Funds Transfer" as your payment option during the checkout process and follow the payment instructions displayed below.

Receipt of your payment will be verified and your order completed.You will be notified of successful payments and completion of your order via email/sms.

Can I pay with cash on delivery?

Yes! While we do not encourage this method for orders > R2000 from a safety point of view, we understand that cash is often King in the gift ceremonies, so:

  • Select the cash on delivery option at checkout then proceed to pay 50% via EFT/bank deposit
  • Upon delivery make sure you have the exact amount available for the delivery team
Can I layby my order?

Of course, you great planner! At checkout one option for payment is layby with 3 or 6 month payment options. You will receive your items once the total is settled at the end of the selected period. Terms and Conditions do apply.

Can I earn/use rewards like Discovery Miles/eBucks?

Not yet but watch this space!

When will my card be charged/payment clear?

Your credit card will be charged upon order placement and approval of card. Your EFT payment will be cleared within 1-3 days. The description for the transaction will be "Payfast*Koti Traditional Wedding Specialists".Please note that non-clearance will delay delivery of your goods.

DELIVERY FAQ’s

Do you deliver to rural and/or outlying areas?

Yes we do.

Can I change my delivery address?

Before placing your order: Yes you can.

After placing your order and prior delivery: Yes, but not on the website and not after we have shipped your order. Give us a shout via website contact form/call/email and we will manage.

Can I collect?

Yes you can. You may select to collect your items from:

1)  Our office. This is free of charge. Collections are at the following address: 407 Lilian Ngoyi Road, Windermere, Durban

2)  Our warehouses. This is at a fee of R20. Collections are at the following address:

When can I expect my things?

Our standing promise is delivery between 7-14 days.

However, in special circumstances e.g. you forgot or are missing something and need it speedily or you have specified a later date via email/contact form/call, we make exceptions and deliver earlier/later.

What if something is missing?

If you received an incomplete delivery you can notify us here and we will respond with 2 working days and sort ASAP.

Does Koti ship internationally?

Cha. Not yet. Watch this space.

CANCELLATIONS, EXCHANGES AND RETURNS FAQ’s

What is your returns policy?

View our Returns Policy here

How do I return an item?

Should you receive an item that is damaged, not what you ordered or perhaps you change your mind, log a return via the website contact form/call/email and we will collect from you at a R150 courier charge or free if we are at fault. Terms and conditions apply, please read our Returns Policy carefully to ensure ease and success of the process.

When will I get my refund?

Within 10 days of validated return. Should this not be possible for reasons out of our control you will be notified in advance.

Can I swop items?

Should you wish to exchange your item for a different colour, model or size for any reason. Return the item within 14 days of delivery for a courier fee of R150. Post this a charge will apply as per Returns Policy. Write us a note on the Contact form or send us an email stating reasons. We will call you within 2 working days to confirm whether the exchange item is available and then provide next steps.